


Double Drat

by Twilight_Shadow_Songs



Category: Megamind - Fandom, Scoob! (2020), Scooby Doo - Fandom, Wacky Races
Genre: Canon is my Playground, Crossover, Dastardly plays nurse, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-08
Updated: 2020-11-08
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:53:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27461494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Twilight_Shadow_Songs/pseuds/Twilight_Shadow_Songs
Summary: For the first time in his life, Metro Man sees his own blood, feels actual pain.Dick Dastardly stitches him up only half unwillingly. And nurses him back to health mostly willingly.Later, Metro Man takes care of Dastardly.
Relationships: Metro Man/Dick Dastardly
Comments: 4
Kudos: 7





	Double Drat

Metro Man hadn’t really wanted to go back into the hero business. Hadn’t wanted to really be anything but superstar singer Music Man, aka Miles Mann, but he couldn’t say no to this. You could do a lot of things. Hurt Megamind, hurt Metro City, threaten Roxanne Richie, but when his guitars had been broken while performing, well...unforgivable. 

This was a big enough issue though, that other heroes and villains alike had been drawn in unwillingly as well. Some he knew from when he’d been active. Some he didn’t. There was a new Blue Falcon, for instance. 

Fighting together against a very angry apocalyptic god. Megamind claimed responsibility for this, though Dick Dastardly mentioned offhandedly he had equal chance being responsible. He’d attempted to start the apocalypse to get his dog out of the underworld and away from Cerberus. 

“That’s not really evil” Megamind had said, annoyed. “If it was like...the teenager Shaggy Rogers and his dog, well, everyone would have said that was perfectly reasonable.”

It was true.

Days went by, and once more Metro Man was reminded why he’d gotten out of this life. No meaning to the work for him. Save the world and then what? Save it again. Why? To do the same thing next week? It was grueling, it was why he’d left. Find some reason somewhere else doing something else that wasn’t fighting.

The good thing about this time though, was that the villains were working with them. The tech experts or the black magic users, and everyone in between. Dastardly was even letting them use his zeppelin as temporary base. 

A month in, and Metro Man finally learned what color his own blood was. He’d never been hurt, never bled, not so much as a bloody nose, and then….

His hand came away from his shoulder and chest with bright liquid, his chest was burning, and when he opened his mouth only screaming happened. 

*

When he woke up, he was in a bed, costume torn away enough to adequately expose the wound. Dastardly was sitting beside him, inspecting a thin sharp object pinched in his fingers. Metro Man pushed himself back, breath hitching and chest burning. A hand was placed on his knee.

“Sit still idiot. I need to stitch your chest. Also you fractured a rib.”

“What happened?”

“We found your Achilles Heel. And I’m relegated nurse duty because Megamind wants to kill something for finding your weakness before he did. And also I need to be in the zeppelin, Muttely would drive us into a cliff if he was left alone.” 

Metro Man eyed the makeshift needle. “I can do that myself.” 

Dastardly snorted.  _ “I  _ can stitch myself up. Megamind can stitch himself up. Blue Falcon Sr. Can stitch himself up. You’ve never had so much as a paper cut according to Megamind. Lie down and hold still.”

“No anesthetic?” Metro Man asked as he did as he was told, still nervous.

“....it’s six stitches.” 

“I’m not used to pain.” 

“I can numb the area, but you’re not human. I don’t know what effect it’d actually have on you.” Dastardly said bluntly, and rolled his eyes at the pleading look. 

“One moment, then.” 

Metro Man was pretty sure Dick Dastardly was living up to his name and taking his sweet time, but presently he did come back with gauze and a small bottle. 

“This will numb the area. However you’re still going to feel a tugging sensation. Best not to look at it.” 

“What should I focus on then?” 

“Anything but my hands.” 

“Can I ask about you then? I never really had to deal with you, so…”

“Yes that’s a race car in the berth and it’s called the Mean Machine, yes I have German war medals, and am a resident of Germany on my father’s side, yes the stuffed pigeon was a former enemy of mine, Yankee Doodle. No I’m not the one that killed him. I’m just equal opportunity.” 

Metro Man had lost most sensation in his chest as Dick Dastardly listed off what Metro Man had to assume were answers to questions he got a lot. 

“Did you build everything here?”

“Not alone but yes. The rottens are my own design, as is my car.” He smiled in wry pride as he focused on the wound on Metro Man. “I had to have help with the zeppelin, but it’s too big to do alone.”

“Your robots and the ship are well built. I might tease Megamind but with all of his gadgets I developed a respect for anyone who can build things like this on such a grand scale. It’s impressive.” 

Dick smirked, gratified. “I do enjoy it. About equal to racing and fighting Blue Falcon.” 

“So you  _ were  _ a racer?” Metro Man asked, trying not to focus on the tugging Dastardly had warned him about. It was new and he didn’t like it. 

“I was and I’m damn good at it. I just can’t resist leaving traps for cheating. It was more fun than actually driving normally. Mean Machine was the fastest and best built, and of all of them I was the best driver. I just couldn’t resist the traps. They always backfired, but they were fun to build.”

“Tell me about your favorite race?” 

Dick Dastardly was silent for a moment before he grinned suddenly, dark and a goofy sort of evil. 

“Alright, I know the one. I’d driven the winning car but as it wasn’t  _ my _ car the actual owners won.”

“How did that happen?”

Dick’s voice became animated, full of a strangely calm sort of excitement as he regaled Metro Man with a (probably) embellished tale. Metro Man couldn’t stop watching him talk, eyes focused on his task as he recounted a very strange sort of race. 

Presently the story ended and Dick stood up, stretching a bit. “I’m going to get some coffee for me and water for you. And a bandage. It’s stitched but something needs to cover it for a little while. Muttley will be here until I get back.”

“It’s starting to sting.”

  
  
“That means the skin is trying to join. And your nerve endings attempting to knit together. As in, that’s a very normal thing, you’re alright. Sometimes pain is good.”

“You’re very calm about this.”

“I think it’s funny I have to babysit an alien who doesn’t know what healing feels like. As in, I think this is rather idiotic but I need to be getting my enjoyment from somewhere so don’t take this from me.”

“Fair.”

Muttley, or as Metro Man privately thought of him, the hyena’s hairball that had gained sentience, waddled into the room and climbed into the seat Dastardly had just vacated. 

“Make sure this idiot stays lying down Muttley. There’s nothing worse as a patient than someone usually invulnerable.” 

Metro Man glared at Dick Dastardly’s retreating back before he turned his attention back to his dog.

“So he tried to start the..dogapocalypse to get you back?”

Happy snicker. 

“You must be a very good dog.”

Another happy snicker. 

So Muttley seemed to be similar to Scooby Doo, but different enough to not have a speech capability. Alright.

“What’s your favorite thing you’ve done with him? He talked about racing, but what’s your favorite moment?”

The dog held up a staying paw, hoisted himself down from the chair, and ran to the far corner of the room. He came back with a framed picture. Dick Dastardly, looking a few years younger and with a slightly less broken nose, was leaned against the Mean Machine with Muttley on the hood. Dastardly wore an old fashioned purple and red driver’s outfit, and a large purple and red hat. He looked proud and happy. 

“You both loved the racing part of your lives that much?”

A soft huffing sound came from the dog as he cradled the picture for a moment before taking it back to the dresser. It was dawning on Metro Man he may have been brought to Dastardly’s room on the zeppelin and this was his bed. He didn’t know how to feel about that. 

“When was the last time Dick took a break and actually slept?” He asked the dog, who frowned, thinking. Muttley finally shrugged. Metro Man nodded. He’d thought as much. “I have a plan to get him to rest, but I need some help….”

*

When Dick returned, Muttley was pretending to be knocked out on the floor, and Metro Man was hiding near the ceiling. 

“Wh-Muttley! Are you alright!?”

“You idiot dog, what did he do, are you alright, oh-”

The sometimes villain had the presence of mind to set the cups down before he rushed to his dog and check on him. Metro Man set down behind him softly, and cleared his throat. 

“Muttley,” Metro Man said calmly as Dick nearly fell over trying to get up and turn around at the same time. “I think someone needs a nap, and I don’t think it’s me, what do you think?”

The dog sat up with a wheezing laugh and Dastardly’s face went from surprised to impressed, to annoyed to resigned. “I’m supposed to be taking care of you, making sure you don’t pop those stitches and reopen your wound.”

“It hurts and I’ll be have and rest. But you need to sleep and I don’t want to take your bed away from you. So.” He took Dastardly gently by the upper arms and carried him to the bed. “I’ll rest on the chair. You get some energy back.”

Dastardly rolled his eyes but sat willingly on the bed, eyelids already drooping and head falling forward slightly as he pulled his gloves and jacket off, and then began working on his boots. “If I sleep, you’ll stay here and not try to be a hero?”

“Megamind has it handled I bet. He’s pretty good at this sort of thing.”

“But you’ll stay put?”  
  
  
“Yes, I’m going to stay here with you.”

Dick caught his gaze shifting to the small hump of his shoulders and sighed. “Scoliosis warped my spine. It’s managed, no worries. I know how to work around it.” Metro Man took the explanation with a small nod, though it was hard to comprehend for him. 

  
  
“Goodnight Dick.”

“Goodnight..uh…”

“Miles Scott.”

“Goodnight, Miles.”

There was a long pause as Dastardly settled into his bed, and then 

“Muttley tape the bandage over his stitches. He’s not getting out of having that.”

*

It took a few more days and finally the tables seemed to be turning in their favor and out of this stalemate that had been the norm for the last month and a half. Which suited Metro Man just fine, he really wanted to get back to his own life. 

Although Dick taking care of him was a really nice part of this, to be honest. According to Dino Mutt Dick Dastardly was a bit of a genius with traps and plans, but they always backfired onto himself. The irony being this was only if  _ he _ did it. 

So he stayed in the ship, barked directions and kicked at his robots. And talked to Metro Man, often while tinkering with his car or other mechanical feats. 

“You really love cars, don’t you?”

“If it doesn’t reach Mach 5 I’m not interested.” 

“I can go Mach 5.” Metro Man had supplied helpfully. Also half to gauge the reaction of Dick over a very thinly veiled flirtation.

Dick had been working in the wiring system in one of the walls, and pushed himself out of the tiny hole near the floor to give Metro Man a look. 

“I don’t go for heroes.”

“I’m mostly retired?” And currently having panic attacks every time he thought about fighting anyone. Blood. He kept seeing his own blood. It hadn’t been a very bad injury in the grand scheme of things but he couldn’t get past it. 

Dastardly snorted. “We’ll see”

Just then the alarm went off and Dick heaved himself to his feet, annoyed and alert. He slammed a fist into a button, and a screen flickered on.

“Muttley! What’s attacking?”

Muttley’s statticked whines came through, as well as images of flying demonic entities. 

“Drat drat and double drat!” Dastardly roared with a vitriolic fury Metro Man had never heard from him before as he switched off the comm and turned to Metro Man. 

“Come on hero, I need to get to my car. Mean Machine has flying capabilities.” 

“...why does Mean Machine fly?”

“Specifically or technically?” 

“Right now forget I asked.” 

“If we’re being targeted one of our team brought them.” Metro Man said as they practically ran. His chest hurt. The stitches strained under the civilian clothes he’d brought, and his rib burned under his skin. “I should go find them. If it’s Megamind-”

“If it’s Megamind he did it with a specific plan in mind. If it’s Brian he’s just an idiot. If it was the Mystery Gang it varies member to member but Shaggy isn’t an idiot, just a coward so if it was him it could be anything.”

“Are you going to run away?”

“Valid question. No. I don’t willingly leave my dog behind.” A slight pause. “I wouldn’t just leave  _ you _ behind either. Megamind would have my head.”

“My apartment accepts dogs.”

“Well, you certainly don’t move slowly do you? Meet me at The Malt Shoppe in Coolsville next Friday say around six if you really want to do this.”

“I do.”

“Perfect! I’ll try not to go to jail in the meantime.” 

*  
  


The zeppelin exploded, unfortunately. But Metro Man managed to get to Muttley in time, and then watch Dick Dastardly’s brilliant plan was suicide bombing the enemy airship with his own car. 

They did apprehend the villain though, and everyone was fine. Mostly. But everyone was alive, that was the important part.

*

Dastardly woke up in what he assumed was Metro Man’s bed, arm in a sling, and the man arguing with Muttley over how to prepare chicken noodle soup. 

“Drat and double drat” he muttered fondly.    
  


At least the apartment apparently allowed dogs.


End file.
